Dear friends,

This is it, the final letter. Thank you for sticking with me this long. This edition comes a bit late, as on the date I was due to write it, the day before I left Bolivia, I came down with what felt like COVID. Then as soon as I hit UK soil, as well as feeling like death, it was all go! But I’ll get to that later. Lets start where I left off last time. The beautiful Jardín.

Jardín:

The day after I sent the last letter, I had a seven waterfall hike. It was brilliant! It was certainly hard work though, as the guide just sped ahead and we had to practically chase him through thick undergrowth and climb up walls of stone using ropes. Once again, I was attacked my a plant and developed white pus-filled spots on my shoulder where it had spiked me. We sat and ate a lunch of egg, rice and lentils (surprise surprise) wrapped up in a leaf, while sitting in front of a very peaceful waterfall. I even took a dip in the freezing waters. The walk was worth it and I’d recommend it to anyone able, but I could barely move the next two days! Which made the waterfall walk the next day quite a challenge. It was a very simple, flat walk (compared to the day before), ending in lots of natural steps down to the “splendid cave”, where a waterfall came through a hole in the roof. However, the feel was very different. This walk was incredibly touristy with a massive group of people, that just wanted their Instagram photos, so I left the waterfall early to get away from all the screaming and shouting of people splashing around, to very slowly, and painfully, make my way back up the stairs.

Cartagena:

I next arrived at Cartagena, on the Carribbean sea. So from the coolness and quietness of Jardin to the heat, humidity and craziness of the Caribbean. I first walked around getsemani, a poorer but colourful touristy hot spot, known for street art. It was run down, smelly and dirty, and I was a bit disappointed after all the hype I’d heard. However, then the next day I spent all day wandering round the walled city and that was much nicer. I enjoyed spotting all the different historical door knockers; Lions meant the occupants were in the military, anything nautical meant they were a merchant/sailor and, my favourite, the lizard meant they were royalty. The bigger and better their knocker was, the more important they were.

I walked to the fort, but had to have a sit down in front of a fan in a shop with a cold bottle of water before I ventured up to the top. It was so intensely hot, I thought I was about to faint! But then once I’d descended the fort, an incredible storm blew in, soaking everyone, including me taking refuge under a bus stop, but at least lowering the temperature a bit. I was hunkering down under shelter, instead of just getting a taxi back to my hostel, because I wanted a photo in a big shoe, which was in the park next to the fort. So once it had settled down to just drizzle I hopped in the bronze boot. It’s ironic really, because I completely ruined my own shoes for that because the streets were flooded and I walked back through disconcertingly hot garbage flood water.

That storm dictated the weather for the rest of my stay. Overcast and stormy. The next day I had booked a 5 island tour around the Rosario islands. The first stop was lovely; blue skies, crystal clear, bath temperature waters, piña coladas, but no getting caught in the rain. I amused myself as all the other girls were sunbathing and taking their Instagram photoshoots, because I had requested a spoon to scoop out the rest of the pineapple from my piña colada. There wasn’t a spoon available, just a fork. So there was me, scraping out a pineapple with a fork, slurping out the juice, completely sticky and very unphotogenic. Instagramable onlookers were probably horrified. We then moved on to a couple of other islands, including the “no rules island”. This is barely an island, as you all sit/stand in the sea at wooden tables, while guys come round trying to sell you food poisoning on a kayak. Apart from the oysters, they’re also offering coke (not the drinking sort). Although, it was fairly quiet when I was there, apparently there are regular fights and drama as the island is not policed and, as alluded to, has no rules. It also seems to have no rules about single use plastic, with this bar probably contributing to the majority of plastic straws in the ocean, especially considering the bar is literally in the ocean. Anyway, on the way to the last island a second storm comes in, while we’re on a speedboat, sliding along the seats and bouncing around over waves with cold rain lashing our faces and only swimsuit-clad bodies. We survived, and had to jump out the boat into the sea upon arrival. The air and rain was chilly, which made the temperature of the water all the more shocking and unbelievably hot! Like actual bath water, I hadn’t experienced anything like it.

My next adventure was to the famous floating hostel called Casa en el Agua. Now although this was renowned for being a party hostel, I thought I could deal with it for one night, for the experience of sleeping in a hammock on a floating hostel in the middle of the Caribbean sea. Despite the Hostal being a health and safety, bed-buggy nightmare, I had a good time with some good people. The highlight, which made the crazily expensive hammock worth it, was swimming with the bioluminescent plankton. What a magical experience. It’s described as stars in the sea, and it really is. You can pull your arm up put the water and watch as the stars fall off your body back into the ocean. Absolutely stunning.

I left Cartagena, nearly with a little stowaway – a kitten friend I had made at my hostel, and made my way back to Peru!

Peru:

I did a real whistle-stop tour of Peru in 10 days. Starting in Lima, where I found Paddington, catching the Peru Hop bus to Paracas, Huacachina, through Nasca to Arequipa, then to Puno, on the Peruvian side of Lake Titikaka. In Paracas I did a sunset hike in the desert, then saw sea lions and Humboldt penguins on the Ballistas islands the next morning. Arriving in the Oasis called Huacachina in the afternoon, just in time to walk up a very impressive sand dune. Out of the 800 Nasca lines, I saw three from the viewing tower, including a nine fingered hand, which symbolises fertility and the nine months of pregnancy. Arriving in Arequipa at 5am, I had 5 days to explore.

Arequipa:

While in Arequipa I visited the Colca Canyon and saw an Andean condor. The bus broke down on the way back and once as many people as possible had hitched lifts with other tour companies the rest of us spent the nearly 4 hour journey watching radiator water bubble and squirt out of the engine bay that was situated in between the driver and passenger seat. The driver ended up ripping up his scarf to tie around the pipe. I also saw the amazing stone forest, created by erosion to volcanic ash that erupted millions of years ago, Pillones waterfall and the Sillar rute, in which I visited a canyon with ancient petroglyphs and apachetas (the piles of stones used as a prayer offering to Pachamama) created by pre-inkan civilisations using the canyon as a path to reach the coast. I also learnt a lot about Juanita, a “mummy” that was found buried on one of the three volcanos surrounding Arequipa.

Juanita was taken from a noble family at birth, and brought up knowing she would be sacrificed. That was her whole purpose. She was 14 when priests took her up the volcano and hit her on the head with a spiky sceptre. Although technically not a mummy as none of her organs were removed, the frozen body was perfectly preserved, which is what makes Juanita so famous. Eight other “mummies” have been found on surrounding volcanos, which would have been sacrificed to placate mother nature, to calm earthquakes and eruptions. All were buried with offerings of gold (representing the sun), silver (the earth) and spondylus shell (the sea).

I liked Arequipa, it was similar to Cusco in the fact that it was cleaner and had lots to see and do. I could have easily spent a couple more days there. However, although the natural scenery was very pretty, I couldn’t help but notice all the rubbish and plastic that littered the side of the roads of the national park. Some places it looked like it had snowed, due to all the shreds of white plastic bags covering the landscape. Since I have been back in the UK I haven’t even seen anything like it on the edges of motorways or in laybys, let alone in a national park. Colombia got it right by banning single use plastic in some of their parks. Admittedly the same would be hard to enforce along the whole stretch of road, that runs from Lima all the way to Bolivia, but Peru really needs to work harder on their environmental education program. And installing bins. Of all three of the South American countries I visited, Peru was actually my least favourite.

Puno:

From Arequipa I made it to Puno, which in itself was typical Peru and not very inspiring. But I went to a couple of interesting museums where I learnt some very interesting facts, such as after the Spanish kept murdering Inkan leaders by putting poison in their drinks, the Inka’s started using chachacoma wood to make the cups. This wood, unbelievably reacts with the venom to start foaming and therefore alerting the drinker to the poison!

I had a two day trip on the world’s highest lake. Where we explored Lake Titikaka, visiting the floating Uros Islands, made from reeds, and Amantani and Taquile island. The floating islands are mostly for tourism now, with families living on other islands with electric. But it was an interesting experience, jumping off the boat onto a spongy floor made of vegetation. One island can last up to 40 years before the family (usually 6 couples and their children) need to build another one. On Amantani island we hiked up to the Pachamama sanctuary, where tradition states that you can walk anti-clockwise around the temple 3 times, each time leaving a stone with a wish. I didn’t want to ask more of mother nature, as she has already given us so much, so instead on each turn I just left a pebble and said thank you. I watched a beautiful and peaceful sunset so didn’t have time to go to the other sanctuary, that of Pachatata (father earth). So I decided that I would get up at 4.30am and hike up the high altitude mountain again, for sunrise. It was worth it. It also weirdly made me feel more energetic and alive, which helped with the hike on Taquile island. We made our way to the top of the island, where the locals, including a 93 year old man (apparently people regularly live to 110 there), performed a traditional dance for us and we learnt about their customs and culture. The men wear belts called fajas, which are made for them by their prospective wife over the three years they have to live together before marriage. The wife-to-be has to cut her hair 4 times a year to provide enough fibre to weave into the belt. They don’t wear wedding rings, just a belt made of their wife’s hair to remind them of their vows. I imagine this to be very effective. The man, in return will embroider his wife a beautiful shawl and knit all his children special sex-specific hats before they’re born (guessing with a surprisingly degree of accuracy the correct sex).

Bolivia:

Lake Titikaka is split between Peru and Bolivia, so it was always my intention, that as I was so close I might as well cross the border to Bolivia. Peru had other ideas… I got to the border and the migration man said I had to pay a fine. I replied “no I don’t, I have a visa”. He then proceeded to tell me that I needed a form filled out by my (ex) employer every time I leave the country. I responded that I had already left the country and only re-entered Peru 10 days ago. That didn’t matter. He proceeded to be very unhelpful, by not writing down the name of the very complicated form name and just kept telling me to come back with the form. He begrudgingly said he’d accept a signed letter from my employer. So I go outside, explain to the guide what’s happening and he kindly shares his WiFi with me so I can call my boss. Luckily she answers and wasn’t in the jungle where there was a power cut at the time. Fifteen minutes later I receive the letter, go back in for him to tell me it wasn’t good enough because the company accountant had to sign it. So I get the (male) guide to come in with me, and the sexist mardy migration man very kindly tells him exactly what I have to do and the name of the form and that all I have to do is download it online. So I managed to download the form and send that to my boss (lucky I left on good terms, eh?!). At this point the guide is like I have 10 minutes until the bus leaves. My boss sends back the form, but it’s not good enough because the accountant still hasn’t signed it. But he said if I print off the letter and the form he’ll let me through. So I run (at high altitude) to a shop. Print it all off, run back to the migration office, for migration man to not even be there… Nobody else will see me so someone very slowly wanders out to find him. He saunters back in, and from here proceeds the scene from Zootopia where the cop, in a hurry, goes to the US equivalent of the DVLA, only to find it’s run by sloths. If you fancy a laugh and to understand my predicament, watch it here. He one finger types, at sloth speed, all my details into the computer, needs someone to come over and check something and finally, and I’m not kidding, places the stamp on my passport, pauses (!), and pushes down on it as slow as Flash the sloth. Now “flash flash hundred yard dash” migration sloth, still passport in hand, proceeds to tells me that “if you come back -” I interrupt him, practically shouting “I’M NEVER COMING BACK” thinking, “just give me my god damn passport”. He looks shocked and starts again… “If you come back before this date-” “I.AM.NOT.COMING.BACK.” At this he reluctantly slides over my passport and I hightail it out of the office to find out I have missed the bus.

I walk the short distance across the border to Bolivia, where I was supposed to meet my bus, someone stamps my passport and says “Adiós”, simple as.

After a taxi to copacabana, I arrived just in time, sans lunch, for my boat trip to Isla del sol. The island walk was pretty, and my adrenaline still pumping made the high altitude hike seem like a walk in the park. If I was to go back (to Bolivia… not Peru) I would spend a night in copacabana, because thanks to slothgate, I didn’t have time to see the pretty cathedral and I would like to go to moon island as well. Apparently the gods get jealous, if you visit one and not the other. Oops.

After the Isla del sol tour, we make our way to La Paz. The coach crossed the rest of the lake on something that looked like Clarkson, Hammond and May built it, but luckily we crossed in a little passenger boat. Once on the road, it’s immediately clear that one thing Peru did actually do well was it’s roads. Bolivia, so far was dirt track, pot-holey and full of speed bumps.

La Paz:

I was pleasantly surprised by La Paz. It was a lot nicer than I expected. Definitely a lot nicer than Bogotá and Lima. It was typical South American crazy, but had a nice modern feel to it and the cable cars were brilliant. I did a very interesting walking tour, got my fortune told in coca leaves and went on a tour of moon valley, and valley of the souls. The latter so called because it sounds like crying babies when the wind whistles through the stone pillars, so locals believe it’s the souls of children spending eternity in limbo. At the witches market I learnt that every year, locals will give an offering of a llama fetus to Pachamama and if anyone is building a new house or needs a new car they will offer an additional alpaca or llama fetus, depending on the size of the request/house. The llamas all die naturally so you aren’t taking something from Pachamama and requesting something from her as well. However, there is an urban myth that homeless people will be sacrificed if a new apartment block is about to be built, and that if there isn’t a sacrifice, Pachamama will claim her own sacrifice – If a builder falls to his death, he’s said to be left there and buried beneath the construction site. Similarly locals have the right to their relatives head when they die. Because you can keep their skull and look after it, so in return it will look after you. So the skull gets polished, the eye and nose sockets get stuffed with cotton wool, and the mouth gets offerings of cigarettes and alcohol. When I went for my coca leaf reading, the skull got a lit cigarette, alcohol poured over it and a candle was lit, whilst lots of words were said to Pachamama. Sadly though, you can also get skulls on the black market from grave diggers.

La Paz is also famously known for Cholita wrestling. Cholitas are the women seen in traditional dress, bowlers hats (originally brought from Italy for men, but they brought the wrong size, underestimating the size of Latin American heads. So they marketed them for women, who also wanted a bigger size, but fell for the “oh it’s the fashion in Europe” line) layered skirts to make their hips look bigger and cover their sexy sexy calves. They also have their long hair in plaits, often with tassels at the ends to make them look longer. Long hair = sexy cholita. But there has been a lot of persecution and discrimination of cholitas over the years and they’re now taking back control and showing their strength through wrestling! I’d never been to a wrestling match before and it was definitely an experience. At the start the men were wrestling and that was actually pretty scary, as they came out into the audience and chucked bins and threw their opponents into metal pillars. At one point a guy spat out blood right in front of my chair. But with the Cholitas it was more of a story and a tiny bit less violent. Luckily I didn’t get chosen for any audience participation.

Uyuni and the salt flats:

Were absolutely incredible. It was the best tour I’ve done in South America. I got an overnight VIP bus to Uyuni, food (quinoa, rice (surprise surprise) and vegetables. With the best chocolate I’ve had in South America, despite having quinoa in as well), pillows and blankets included. Day one of my salt flats tour went to the train grave yard, the salt flats, an island full of cactus in the middle of the flats, we then had wine and snacks at sunset and watched the stars come out, before heading to our salt hotel. So the bricks were made of salt, the floor was salt granules and the mattress was on a massive block of salt. The next day we were up for sunrise and had such a packed day I can’t remember everything we did, but we saw a lot of wonderful natural scenery and rock formations. On the third day we were up at 4.30am ready to leave by 5.30am but a truck got a flat tyre so we were running a bit late. We went to the geysers for sunrise, a hot springs and the green lagoon right on the border of Chile. The highlight of the trip, apart from the landscape, was obviously the flamingos! On the second day we went to three lagoons (including white and pink) which were full of bright pink flamingos. I decided my favourite were the James flamingo, which had a vibrant pink head and feathers, compared to the Andean or Chilean species. During the trip I was in a truck with a lovely older driver who didn’t have any music on, so we could chat and ask questions (I say we, I was the only one to speak Spanish, so I did all the talking), he drove sensibly and, unheard of in South America, he actually wore a seatbelt and didn’t use his phone while driving. But… He had to take some guests to Chile, so on the way back I had to swap into the other truck, with the lunatic driver, the complete opposite of my previous driver. As he went round a corner, he crossed himself to the virgen Mary and hoped for the best.

Sucre:

I arrived in Sucre to a festival. There was going to be parades and partying for both days I was there. Sucre is the official capital of Bolivia, rather than La Paz. But you wouldn’t guess it. Known as the white city, the outskirts are red. With all the red brick buildings being typically unfinished and unrendered. The historical centre though is indeed white and prettier, although still full of stray dogs and associated muck. There wasn’t just dog mess on the floor. For the festival, authorities had erected urinals for men, made of half an oil barrel hiding a water bottle, connected to a pipe, to guess where… The road. There weren’t really options for women, so it wasn’t uncommon to see beautiful skirts lifted up and knees bent on the pavement.

I didn’t do much in Sucre apart from watch the festivities, visit some very cool dinosaur footprints and catch a virus that floored me for the next two weeks.

I’ve had lots of people ask about the dinosaur footprints… “Why are they on a wall?” Well, 63 million years ago it used to be a muddy lake shore. Then tectonic plate movements caused it to come up vertically. There were lots of footprints, from various species, including carnivores (the classic three toed footprint). Most trails were vertical, but there is also the world’s longest set of footprints running horizontally across the whole cliff face.

Cochabamba:

Very excitingly, I stayed in bed all day, as I felt weird and had developed a bit of a cough. The next morning I started my 20 hour journey back to the UK.

UK:

I’M BACK!! I sorted my car out, slept off the flu while starting my new job remotely, packed, saw long-missed friends and moved to Cornwall all within the space of 10 days.

I’m so happy to be back though, and to have seen as many of you as I could. I am enjoying eating everything, and vow not to eat rice, lentils, chickpeas, quinoa or eggs any time soon. I felt deaf the first week I was back and am still enjoying the quiet, as until you’ve been there, I can’t effectively describe the noise levels of South America. The roads here are so quiet and calm I feel like I could drive with my eyes closed (don’t worry Mum, I won’t). Putting toilet paper in the loo is taking some getting used to and drinking water out the tap is a revolutionary and we really should be grateful and celebrate it more.

A few of you have asked what my favourite part was and if I would do it again. And considering this is me, all my close friends will be shocked (and some probably relieved) at the answer: coming home has been my favourite part. And would I do it again? No. Do not worry. I am not running off to the Jungle again, unless it’s on holiday. I have seen a lot, and learnt a lot, I have improved my Spanish, met people I will love and speak to for the foreseeable future, I have lots of stories and life experience that a lot of people will never get the chance to have. Do I regret going, no. But apart from the people I’ve met, which I wouldn’t give up, I could have still seen and done a lot of the things I’ve done on a very long holiday. But that being said, I have returned with a newfound appreciation of the UK, if I hadn’t of gone I would always have that desire and wanderlust. I feel a happiness I didn’t think was possible for seeing my friends and loved ones, including meeting newborn loved ones! Thank you for following my adventure, it’s meant a lot to me that you’ve come along with me. Some of you have said how much you enjoyed reading my stories and even want me to carry on in Cornwall! You’re all wonderful and thank you again for being there for me, even when I was on the other side of the world.

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back.

So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving”

– Sir Terry Pratchett, Hat Full of Sky

Lots of Love,

Joss xxx